Imagine what your life would be like if you had no fear. What would you do if you were given the magic formula to overcome fear? It’s not difficult to imagine that having a different relationship with fear would significantly alter your life. Like most of us our fear is taught to us at a young age. You learn what you should do and what you shouldn’t do to avoid punishment and discomfort for things that naturally cause fear. As an adult, fear comes from a number of different sources, and if you don’t know the sources of your fear, it’s nearly impossible to determine when fear is limiting you to keep you safe, and when fear is motivating and guiding you towards what you value in life. I believe fear is the single biggest obstacle that holds people back from living a life of purpose, freedom, and true happiness. My 5-step guide to fearlessly live your dream life will help you create a new relationship with fear so you can live a PurposeFULL Life.
Do you remember when your definition of fear changed from things that naturally cause fear to one associated with negative thought patterns within yourself? I distinctly remember my world turning upside when I was 10-year-old, and my parents told us they were getting a divorce. Looking back, it seemed as though one day, I was a loved, care-free, happy little girl, and then poof, I suddenly became overly focused, serious, and sometimes felt lonely and invisible. A shadow of darkness, depression, and financial struggle came over my family, and the once vibrant little girl turned inward for protection, peace, and harmony amidst the chaos. I didn’t want to add to my family’s distractions so I took on the role of the quiet, perfect child; excelling academically, caring for my brother, and most days “running” the household. I thought if only I was perfect, then I would be worthy, I would be “seen”, and I would be loved again. For many years, I struggled with perfectionism and fear; fear of not being good enough, fear of abandonment, fear of being criticized or judged, and fear of financial insecurity. To be honest, I still struggle with feeling worthy, acknowledged, and loved at different times; however, today, I’m fully aware of the triggers that set off my fear-based negative thought patterns, and I can readily evaluate the warning signals (i.e., fear) and recognize the guidance fear is trying to give me.
How Fear Is Holding You Back
Right now, you’re likely living your life in fear. You probably don’t even realize it, but fear is controlling you -- your life, your relationships, and your decisions. The only place that fear can exist is in your thoughts. Your wild imagination is likely causing you to fear things that do not presently or may not have ever existed. Let me be clear, I’m not talking about danger, which is very real and should be responded to with the appropriate action. Rather, I’m speaking about negative thought patterns that are based in fear, anxiety, worry, and doubt. When you experience fear, you have a choice. You can choose to react to fear, which often shows up as panic, being frozen, running away, or burying it, or you can choose to work through your fear until you are no longer afraid of it. Are you ready to learn how to recognize fear as a tool that can guide you towards what you value most so you can fearlessly live your dream life?
Your 5-Step Guide To Fearlessly Live Your Dream Life
This 5-step guide will walk you through the exact steps to overcome your fear and negative thought patterns that are holding you back and keeping you playing small, and instead use your fear as a tool to guide you toward the things you value most in life so you can fearlessly live your dream life.
Step 1: Define Your Fear
Learning how to overcome your fears is like solving a complex or challenging problem. In order to create possible solutions, you must understand the problem. What exactly are you afraid of? Tim Ferris says, “what we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.” You can use your fear to point you in the direction of what’s most important to you.
Step 2: Acknowledge Your Fear
Our emotions exist to tell us things. When you feel fear, your inner being is trying to tell you something so listen carefully. Your fear, anxiety, worry, or doubt is your subconscious giving you a warning signal that something needs your attention and to take action. Rather than avoiding it, lean into your emotion and use it as a guide to help you reach your potential.
Step 3: Feel Your Fear
Reflection is a powerful action you can take to overcome your fear. It allows you to deeply understand why you are experiencing the fear and what stories you’re telling yourself about your fear. A moment of reflection allows you to detach from the fear, anger, or worry, calm your initial reaction, and respond more appropriately. A simple way to detach from the emotion is to change your thoughts and words about it. For example, instead of saying, 'I AM ANGRY', you can say, 'I FEEL ANGRY'. Detachment is the ultimate tool for letting go of fear and it allows you to take back your power.
Step 4: Take Your Power Back
It’s time to take your power back! What is the life you desire and deserve look like? One of the best ways to overcome your fear is to create compelling goals that help you fearlessly live your dream life. How do your goals help you reach your desired outcome? You will find yourself taking courageous action to change when the fear of staying the same outweighs the fear of change. You can use your fear to inspire and empower you to achieve your goals and reach your potential.
Step 5: Shift Your Mindset From Scarcity to Abundance
Oftentimes, when you’re afraid, you tend to stay in one place. What if you make a mistake? What if you fail? Your fear holds you back and you start to believe you can’t progress at all. One of the most powerful tips to overcome fear is to change your mindset from scarcity and fear to abundance and confidence so you can live a PurposeFULL life.
There’s a beautiful quote that reminds us that when we let our light shine, we give permission to other people to let their light shine too. Let’s consciously and deliberately remind one another to choose love, not fear. Then, and only then can you fearlessly live your dream life.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson
IT'S YOUR TIME TO SHINE!
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